Vampire Slayer Ferdie, Chapter Ten:
(Because there is no better way to begin a chapter then with a hissy fit.)
Exhausted beyond words, our intrepid band of
Bob: Wait just a minute.
The Author: (sigh and mutter) What now? Yes Bob?
Bob: We, the cast of this (shudder) fanfic are going on strike until you meet our list of demands.
The Author: Oh really?
<Several other cast members nervously appear and nod reluctantly>
Squeaks: It's nothing personal.
Ferdia: It's just that fanficcing us is starting to become a trend and after that last author we decided we needed to do something to protect ourselves.
Bob: Especially since the Jennies is useless.
<Cue the fondue fork flung at him from nowhere>
The Author: Last author?
Squeaks: Actually we aren't sure if there was one or two. All we know is she was
Ferdia: Insane is more like it. And now she's planning a bunch of sequels for us. Maybe we should apply to be copyrighted? Anyway, since we heard you're doing a sequel too we wrote down a few requests.
The Author: You do realize the sequel won't even be started until after the Jennies finishes Scythe in Time. You guys probably have a year before you need to start worrying.
Squeaks: It's best to be prepared.
Ferdia: Plus stalling the creativity demons only works for so long.
The Author: I'm not even going to ask. So let's hear these demands.
Bob: The sidekick/comic relief is forbidden from being the hero!
Ferdie: (off in the distance) Second!
Ferdia: (rolls her eyes) No more body switching.
Squeaks: Or cross-dressing.
The Author: Okay, I can agree to those.
Bob: My precious fiancée does not get dragged into the storyline AND you make her normal again.
The Author: (sighs) Agreed. Anymore?
Ivan: No more cheesy doubles. Also, I refuse to be locked in another dungeon.
The Author: (a bit nervously) No problem. Is there anything else?
Bob: No, that's it. We couldn't really think of anything else.
The Author: (with an evil smile) Well, since the discussion is over I think I will reveal one interesting tidbit about the sequel. The Muses want to call it The Misadventure's of Drake Dumas in an Alternate Dimension. They've decided Drake will be the hero this time.
<The quiet 'Thank God' is overridden by the sound of an enraged temper tantrum>
So let's try this again:
Exhausted beyond words, our intrepid band of heroes (Bob will you please stop screaming!) eventually made it back to the rebel's base camp only to be greeted by another unwelcome surprise. A huge celebration was already underway as the forest now echoed with the sound of merry laughter and joyous cries as the denizens reveled in their newfound peace. Ferdia took one look at the bright lights and laughing faces and just groaned.
You have got to be kidding me, she muttered in disgust. Squeaks, essentially keeping his exhausted and somewhat battered partner upright, nodded in agreement.
There was a whimper from behind them as Bobetta, still now fully recovered from her ordeal, clung tighter to Bob and watched the approaching natives nervously. Ladylike hysterics dictated that even is she was still mad at her fiancé; he could still be useful.
There, there dearest, Bob said soothingly. It's alright now.
Make all those creatures go away right now, Bobetta whined.
Ravyn, having overheard their conversation, stepped closer. Why don't you take her directly to your tent Sir Bob. It will be far more peaceful there and we can move the others so you two may be alone.
Thank you, Bob replied with genuine gratitude before steering Bobetta off to the side and away from the revelers. Distantly they heard her shriek, I have to sleep in a tent!
Then they were surrounded as dozens of rebels rushed forward to greet them, Harm practically leading the pack. Poor Ferdie ended up as the center of attention, constantly approached by soldiers who wanted to shake his hand and thank him for ending their long nightmare. Ravyn had to rescue him several times and even Beak picked up on how overwhelmed the bluebird was feeling. Fortunately Sirius was able to distract Hazel but the Professor was determined to praise Ferdie's deeds to anyone who would listen. The tale of what had gone on in the vampire's lair was retold dozens of times and embellished with each telling.
A toast to the greatest hero our world shall ever see, the owl slurred a bit drunkenly. Kegs of sweetened honey mixed with something tart had been broken up as part of the celebration and right now the owl could rightfully be described as about two sheets to the wind.
Why do I get the feeling this will go on for a while, Ivan muttered as yet another toast was drunk in Ferdie's honor. Meanwhile, the guest of honor looked like he was about to crawl beneath his seat in embarrassment.
Sure enough two hours later they were still up, though Lita was leaning drowsily against a tree slipping in and out of consciousness and Beak had been lost somewhere beneath the table they were all sitting at. About the third time Ferdia drifted off to sleep against the mouse beside her, Squeaks decided to call it a night.
Sorry, he said, hauling his half-conscious partner up. Ferdia has had it and I'm beyond worn out myself. While this has been lots of fun, we really do need our sleep. Good night all of you. Try not to stay up to late.
Cheers and well-wishes were shouted after them but, despite the exhaustion most of the partier's had to be suffering from, the festivities continued on for many more hours into the night until Sirius himself began ordering his troops to get some rest.
I think it's to bed for most of us, he announced, indicating the group congregated around him. I know you still want to rejoice in a victory but we've all had a long day. A long few days' truth be known and it's not over yet. We've all still work to do tomorrow so got to bed now, that's an order. There was some grumbling but most of them caved and the party broke up and groups of natives departed for the sleeping tents.
Ivan, Iiwi and Ferdie, amazingly enough, were still awake, the later just barely so. Ravyn smiled at them as she stood herself and stretched. Please, sleep as long as you need to then join us for breakfast in the morn. We'll speak of more important matters when we're all more coherent. Extra tents have been prepared, just follow Harm. And thank you again, all of you.
Rousing or just carrying the unconscious, in small groups the last of the stragglers staggered off to bed.
By the Dark Moon Blade, you don't have to bring your whole arsenal, Isis called out in disgust as she lounged against the wall outside his quarters. Bijou was settled on the floor next to her, surrounded by the cat's luggage as well as a small bag containing his few belongings. Isaac had disappeared earlier, claiming he had a few errands he needed to run and had yet to come back, leaving them to pack in the interim. The door opened and Isis stood up. Finally.
Quiet you, Blade snapped back, hauling out more weaponry then found in most medieval displays in a museum. We don't know what sort of dangers to expect and I prefer to be prepared. Asides, it's not like we can trust the Mage.
He isn't a Mage, Isis replied in exasperation. And I believe he's sincere. Why else take us with him? He didn't have to save us you know?
That's what you used to say about our Master. Seems like we're just trading one for another. Nothing's changed.
Bijou suddenly stood and, after grumbling out something fairly long, picked up the rest of the bags and lumbered.
Bijou's right, Isis said to him. We don't owe anyone anything anymore. Now we take care of ourselves. It's *our* choice to go to a different world and we'll chose our own paths when we get their. No more taking orders or doing someone else's dirty work. Isaac is a partner, not our master Blade. We are free, so let's go enjoy that freedom.
The sound of clapping echoed down the hallway behind them and both turned to find Isaac approaching empty-handed. Well said Isis. I don't expect you to trust me assassin and I don't really care. This is fresh start for all of us. I say make the most of it. So shall we go?
Crossing dimensions the second time proved to be a lot less painful causing Blade to turn and glare at Isaac once they were in San Viano.
Funny how that was so much easier Mage, he said, drawing out the last word to make it as insulting as possible. However, to his annoyance, Isaac only shrugged and grinned.
Are you going to leave that open, Isis questioned, pointing to the dimensional rift gaping open behind them.
Isaac winked. Should make life interesting, eh? Now why don't we find ourselves a guide for this lovely city? Strolling forward and stepping out into the street, he paused to look back at the others just as there was the sudden screeching of brakes and a shrill horn sounded.
Crazy tourists, an irate voice shouted. Why don't you
lovely lady is that you? Long time no see. Paying a second visit to our fair city are you?
The familiar voice caused Isis to start then glance over at the cab that had slid to a halt a few feet away and she smiled. Hello again Edgar. How fortuitous.
Truthfully it was probably part mid-day before they managed to drag themselves out of bed the next day. Sirius was up and about ordering his troops around with a disturbing degree of cheer, Ferdie noted in disgust as he dragged himself to the table to join the others. A makeshift breakfast was spread out before them and the bluebird fell upon it ravenously.
Quite a few of them seem to be out of it, Ferdia quietly observed. Plus there seems to be a movement to eradicate all noise this morning.
Some things appear to be universal, Squeaks responded. They just had a major victory, becoming completely plastered probably seemed logical they are soldiers after all.
That doesn't explain the Professor, Ferdie pointed out. He was muttering something about his head splitting open last time I saw him.
A common affliction this morning, Iiwi commented. She too was annoyingly awake in alert as she approached the group, Ravyn at her side.
Good morrow, all of you, the mouse greeted them warmly. Oh dear, you appear to be missing a few of your comrades.
I imagine we won't be seeing Bob for awhile, Ferdia said, cackling evilly. Iiwi snickered.
Bob, to the amusement of everyone already gathered, was the last one to make it breakfast. Emitting a pained whimper as he gingerly sat down, the yellow kiwi glared openly at the curious and amused looks he was getting. If he hadn't been so sore he'd have booted the lot of them repeatedly, he thought righteously as he glumly contemplated yet another day without his precious substance.
Amazingly enough, Hazel was the first to break the silence his entrance had caused. Are you alright, Sir Bob, she asked quietly. The hysterical laughter that greeted her question only made her worry more.
Alright, Bob finally responded, still slightly hysterical. Am I alright? NO! I'm tired, sore, abused, coffee-deprived and my normally sweet, gentle fiancée has turned into a raging harpy. Nothing could make this trip any worse then it is at this exact moment.
Everyone slowly backed away from him as he blatantly challenged the power of worse. Strangely enough, several minutes passed with no terrible fates befalling him so the carefully moved back, still keeping a wary eye open.
The Princess is not well, Hazel asked, puzzled. She has problems?
There's the understatement of the century, Ferdia muttered while Iiwi snickered merrily beneath her wing.
Ferdie spoke up then. Yeah, I'd say so, he muttered. I so wish last night was just a very bad memory.
What about my poor Bobetta, Bob heatedly demanded. This whole trip has been one bad memory for her! If only she hadn't been dragged into this nightmare.
Sirius came over to join them then, overhearing the last of the conversation as he sat down. Actually there was something I wanted to speak to you all about. Despite my own personal
misgivings, without all of you we could never have defeated the vampire. I don't think a greater menace has ever threatened our people but now, now we have a chance to make our world a happy, peaceful place again. So I have spoken with the elders this morning and, along with their own personal thanks for all that you have done for us, they wanted me to offer Master Ferdie and all his companions a reward. Any wish that is within our power to grant, we will gladly do so.
Bob just stared at him for a moment before letting out a shout of pure joy. Wait, are you serious?
Indeed. You need only ask.
Is there anything you could do for my Bobetta? Anyway you could, you know make her better again.
I believe there are spells capable of altering memory. Hazel may be able to erase what has occurred. Would that help?
Huge, chibi eyes were aimed at Hazel who looked a tad uncertain. Would you do that for me, Bob whined.
Of course Sir Bob. Your aid has been most
useful. If this is what you desire then I would gladly help you and your beloved. No creature should have to suffer the taint of that foul fiend.
Good. Let's do it now. Snagging the feline's hand, Bob took off for his tent, dragging Hazel behind him.
I say we get that girl a gift basket for this one, Ferdia muttered.
For once we're in agreement detective, Ivan added.
Watching and understanding far too much of the conversation, Ravyn addressed the whole table. Please, if there is anything we can do for the rest of you, just ask.
I would like to go home young lady, Ivan said instantly. Not that this side jaunt hasn't had its moments but I have an empire to run. Plus Farlane here is missing school.
Next to him Lita rolled her eyes.
Squeaks nodded in agreement. We also need to go back soon. I think our vacation time is almost up.
We understand, Sirius replied. You each left much behind to come assist us and we thank you for that. Once Hazel is free and you are all packed, we shall send you home. Until then, please just relax here. The worst is over now.
I would not be so certain of that Sirius, the Professor announced softly, still gingerly holding his head. I fear I have terrible news.
There was a chorus of groans from the table.
Please don't tell me the vampire had a brother whose now bent on revenge, Iiwi muttered.
The Professor winced and paused. Ahem, no, not that we are aware of. No, unfortunately it is something much worse and it concerns your world too.
What happened, Ferdia demanded.
One of our scouting parties came across a dimensional rift left open near the castle. We have managed to close it however, it is unknown how many of the fiend escaped through to your city. The owl sighed. I am terribly sorry about all this. We do not know how this could have occurred.
Ferdia slumped back in her chair while Squeaks lowered his head to the table. Lovely. I'm guessing who ever opened one of these portals things in order to grab Bobetta did it again. This time to escape and take who knows how many of his friends with him. San Viano will be overrun by nightfall. We need to get back as soon as possible.
It will be done, he replied.
Sirius suddenly stood up. I'm afraid we cannot send any of our fighters to help you. Most of them are still needed here to protect our world. However I at least will go with you and do what I can. It is the least I can do after all the help you have given us.
Thank you, Squeaks said quietly while most of the others just looked at the mouse in disbelief and the owl began to sputter. We appreciate the offer.
He won't be alone, Ravyn announced. I will go to. I think I can do more good there.
Ferdie smiled and nodded. Sure, the more the merrier.
They left an hour later, despite Hazel's pleading to go with them and the Professor's repeated insistence that Sirius couldn't leave them right now. Ferdia and Squeaks had rounded up all their supplies (plus the multitude of thank you gifts they'd received) while Ivan herded everyone into a small clearing deemed suitable for the spell. Everyone was laden down, including Bob who carried and unconscious and slightly amnesiac Bobetta. Hazel was eventually ordered to begin the spell, which she did, albeit very reluctantly.
You must be careful, the professor said Sirius as the started filing into the portal Hazel strained to hold open. You are far too important to lose.
We will be fine Learned One, Sirius promised, nudging his sister forward. Do not worry. Nothing can go wrong.
The golden mouse was the last to step through and just as he disappeared form sight, the owl's widened in horror and he shouted despite the pounding headache, Wait. However it was too late and the portal sealed tightly behind them as Hazel sank to the ground in exhaustion.
Learned One, what's wrong, one soldier anxiously inquired.
I just realized. How in the name of the Blessed Sun will they get back?
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